Practical Metaphysics 101
Traditionally, that is to say, in academic circles, the field of metaphysics is considered a branch of philosophy. Practical Metaphysics, therefore, is an oxymoron. The metaphysicist is not a scientist, for he (or she) does not use the scientific method to prove his theories. Instead, he uses his mind to find patterns in the chaos using the principle of normal distribution of a random variable. This principle suggests that since nature expresses itself randomly, the expression of consciousness, too, will normally distribute in its expression:
So for example, if we check each and every flower in a huge field of poppies, we will find that most of them (around 70%, as indicated by the two centered slices of the graph) will look like the others, in terms of size and shape. A smaller percentage (say, 26% or so) will show various blemishes and imperfections, and a yet smaller percentage (around 5-6%) will be significantly abnormal. A tiny percentage will show sever deformity. This standard deviation remains consistent in all normal, natural environments, and as such, is a central principle of metaphysics.
Let us say, for example, that the metaphysicist is searching for a pattern with which human emotions operate. He wants to find some structured flow that would show order in the apparent disarray of our emotional behavior.
His fellow, the scientist, might bring people into a lab, cause them to have an emotional response (say, use electric shocks to trigger anger), then observe, measure and document their responses. Maybe he will measure their heartbeat or blood pressure, the chemical changes in their bodies, or the areas of the brain that seem to get triggered. He will then look for patterns in the results that would suggest a cause and effect of sort. This would serve as a basis for a theory, a supposition of sorts as to the nature of irritation as a result of the physical stimulation.
This scientific method is using the art of deductive reasoning.
The metaphysicist would do nothing of the sort; he induces, not deduces like the scientist. The difference between deduction and induction is like the difference between cooking a meal from a recipe and “winging it” from what you have in the fridge. The specificity of a recipe ensures accurate results but delivers a narrow learning experience. The flexibility of “cooking from the hip” ensures inaccuracy of experience, but results in a broader understanding of the art itself. Deducing, the work of the scientist, requires a narrow theory which must be supported by accurate data. Inducing, the work of the metaphysicist, goes the other way — it requires no theory, merely the belief that a pattern exists. Observation is done in search of this pattern, which ultimately leads to a theory. If a metaphysical pattern exists, the theory is refined until it becomes self-evident; no proof is then needed, since the pattern reverberates through all that exists. It simply becomes an experiential fact, like the shape and size of a standard poppy.
Remember, there is no matter in the metaphysical world. This means that there are no multiple templates of expressions; there are merely endless expressions of the same template. As a metaphor for this principle think of our DNA — we all contain the DNA of all that exists. It is the arraignment of the DNA molecules that dictates different templates of expression, resulting in someone being a person or a dog. The deviation is only in the physical; DNA, as a metaphysical concept, is always the same. All that is metaphysical is one, since division is possible only with physical matter. You can’t split anger in half. There is only one metaphysical Mind – your mind is simply a unique expression of the same metaphysical mental template that never changes.
This makes the work of the metaphysicist much harder in some aspects, and yet much easier in others. The pattern is much harder to find, since it is buried under infinite forms of expressions. However, once a thread is found, things get easier and easier, since there is only one template to find, and it repeats itself in all that exists. A metaphysicist does not need a lab; his lab is the world. Once a template of consciousness is revealed, it becomes self-evident in all observed phenomena. The more it is refined, the more obvious it becomes. It cannot be proven, since the observation is always subjective; once experienced, however, it is self-evident.
The laws of metaphysics tell us that the physical universe is a reflection of the metaphysical reality in which we live, and not the other way around. The metaphysicist then knows that in order to find a functional pattern of human emotions, he must observe these emotions in their authentic form, and not in a lab. The chemical reactions in the body are merely the reflection of the emotion itself, which in turn cannot be measured. You can measure the blood pressure of an angry person, but there is no way to actually quantify the anger itself, since the blood pressure is merely a physical symptom that differs from one person to the next. The observation of the metaphysicist is qualitative, not quantitative. The metaphysicist knows that in reality, nothing is random. We call it random because we haven’t been able to point out the driving force which causes it to behave the way it does. The metaphysicist knows that the emotional response, when observed across a wide enough group of subjects, must show us a normal distribution of sort.
Notice that the graph of standard deviation is split into two parts that mirror each other. The metaphysicist, then, starts by looking for a pattern of duality — say, people who get easily irritated when triggered vs those who get easily anxious when triggered. Obviously, the division is not black or white; most people (say, 70%) get angry or experience anxiety according to the situation at hand. But some (say, 26% or so) will be either easily angered — “short fused,” if you will — or will suffer from chronic anxiety. The metaphysicist will then search for a common pattern — usually outside of the realm of human emotions, such as in body shape or other behavior patterns — that might match the same standard distribution and will align with this emotional response.
Such observations might include the realization that some people tend to be more self-serving while others tend to serve others, or that when it comes to altering substances, people who tend to get angry easily are most often drawn to alcohol and those who are anxious tend to like cannabis. Another example is that in a partnership, one person is usually waiting for the other, and one is normally feeling rushed. These seemingly unrelated patterns become the lens through which the metaphysicist observes reality, and with which he continues to search for yet other patterns which would contribute to the theory developing in his or her mind. Here, he might find a correlation — those who normally wait for their partner are usually those who get irritated, and those normally being rushed are those who are more prone to anxiousness. A theory about our perception of time as related to human emotions may start to develop.
The work of the metaphysicist can be likened to building a huge puzzle without knowing what the final image is or how many pieces are available. In fact, the metaphysicist begins with no pieces at all. Instead, he has a notion, an intuition, that a pattern exists somewhere. It always does. This, in itself, is a law of metaphysics. By definition, intuition contradicts logic, or else it would not be needed. Here, the intuition is simply an inner-knowing resulting from the fact that a pattern has already started to emerge.
The metaphysicist has a powerful set of tools at his disposal in his quest to find the obsolete truth. Most importantly, he has the Laws of Metaphysics, which serve as guiding stars in the dark vastness of the metaphysical mind. When he is lost, they always remind him of the same basic advice:
Look for the metaphor in the physical universe.
The Laws of Metaphysics
When I tell people I am a student of metaphysics, most say “wow, tell me more.” When I tell people I study metaphysical phenomena, most look at me as if I told them I live under a bridge.
The word “metaphysical” is often mixed with the idea of that which is spiritual or ethereal, since by nature, the metaphysical transcends physical matter and the laws of nature. In reality, you are just as a metaphysical being as you are a physical one. Your thoughts, for example, are metaphysical, and so is your mind. Love is metaphysical, as well as your will power, desire and hope. Meta is a Greek word which means “after”, and is used to describe that which is beyond something else. The words that are coming out of your mouth are physical; they can be heard, measured and recorded. Their meaning, however, is metaphysical, since the meaning of words exists only in our collective perception and is always changing to represent our subjective reality (like how the meaning of the word “gay” changed over time).
The Laws of Metaphysics, which help the metaphysicist with his seemingly blind search, are just as firm and unbreakable as the laws of nature. It is the observation and study of these laws which must incorporate the art of inaccurate consistency, not their ever-lasting presence. Unlike the detectable, measurable laws of nature, the Laws of Metaphysics are hidden behind the veil of nature’s infinite expression. When a metaphysicist observes life, he is looking at an art form in an attempt to discover how it was formed, like someone who is trying to learn color theory by looking at a painting. Art, like any metaphor, strives to be inaccurately perfect. The power of a metaphor lies in the contextual similarity to that which it reflects. If I say “the fruit of his labor,” the word “fruit” carries the idea of something ripening and ready to be consumed. It loses its subjectivity — it is irrelevant if we are speaking of a pear or an apple — and carries only an experiential context of outcome or result. Metaphor (here’s that ‘meta’ again) is a Greek word meaning, “to carry beyond”. Something that is related contextually but is subjectively different.
Metaphors are important to understand because they are the road signs of the metaphysicist. The Laws of Metaphysics tell us that everything we experience in the physical universe is a subjective metaphor of a metaphysical principle, since it is translated by our mind to have a subjective meaning of sorts. As an abstract thinker, the metaphysicist is working blindly; abstract concepts cannot take an objective form and must be reflected as a metaphor. Think of “fairness”, for example. No definitive image can come up, but subjective examples will arise. Fairness itself is an abstract concept and can only come to life using a metaphor that demonstrates it, such as two children equally splitting a piece of candy between them. Now that we metaphorically represented the concept of fairness, an image can come up. The representation in matter thus became the metaphor for the metaphysical concept.
Since the physical is the reflection of the metaphysical, the Laws of Metaphysics are mirrored through the laws of nature. To the metaphysicist, the physical universe is a playground of metaphors that mirrors what he or she is seeking. For example, Newton’s First Law of Motion states that an object at rest stays at rest unless disturbed, and object in motion, say an asteroid moving through space, will stay in motion unless, again, disturbed. In other words, the object in motion requires an external force to cause change in its original state of motion. In the metaphysical realm, it is action that creates motion. Newton’s First Law of Motion is mirrored, then, by a metaphysical law called the Law of Cycles which tells us exactly the opposite — all action, we are taught, is self-originated, and is always circular in motion — it always impacts the originator as it returns to source, attempting to reach a state of inner equilibrium. What was started must be finished, and what was finished will, inevitably, be restarted by itself.
In the east, this principle is called Karma.
I won’t list all the Laws of Metaphysics in this book. But there is one law that you must learn in order to understand how your mind works. It is the most basic, most intrinsic metaphysical principle of all, since it defines the inherent nature of all metaphysical — and therefore physical — phenomena. It is the most important law of metaphysics to understand, since it is reveals the basic skeleton of all metaphysical patterns. It is called the Law of Sexual Polarization (also known as the Law of Duality).
A Quick Word About Generalizations
This is a good time for a quick pause. Generalizations area powerful way to demonstrate generic principles, but they are also a tricky business. In today’s politically correct cultural climate, it is hard to make generalizations without pissing someone off. It seems that whatever one says is bound to press someone’s buttons. As a metaphysicist, this is especially tricky, since one cannot talk about metaphysics without discussing sexuality in its traditional form. To understand the Laws of Metaphysics we must go back to basics — we must reconnect with the bare, primal concepts of nature, stripped from all social norms that have developed in order to ensure justice and equality. Nature, in its raw form, is always balanced, and never fair. It is often brutal, yet never mean or ill-intended.
Unlike humans, animals do not harm each other unless it is necessary for their survival. The patriarchal, male-dominated socio-economic reality we live in is masking the basic truth about our nature as sexual beings. In nature, equality exists only as a spiritual concept, for all that was made was made in one metaphysical image. For us to see equality and “fairness” in nature we must observe the physical phenomena over long stretches of time. For example, when observing a contained ecosystem such as a forest, we will see how it strives for equilibrium over time, that is, in the macro; if the salmon population grows, the bears will thrive, too. But at any micro moment, if we counted the salmon and the bears, we will see that the equilibrium never really exists. It is a metaphysical concept. Metaphysical concepts, as reflected in nature, can be observed only in the macro, never in the micro.
In the physical world, the opposite is true. To find consistency in matter we must observe the micro. When you break matter into its smallest particles, we realize that all is made of atoms. As a rule, the more we zoom into the micro within the physical reality, say to the structure of an atom, the more structural similarities are found; as we zoom out, however, the more diverse the phenomenon becomes (both an elephant and a rock are made of atoms, and yet they are nothing alike). This fact mirrors the metaphysical reality, in which the opposite is true. The more you zoom in, the more expressive the phenomena are (every expression of sadness, for example, is infinitely different). The more you zoom out, however, the more similarities are discovered, and a pattern begins to emerge (loss causes sadness). This is because all metaphysical phenomena are expressions of the same single metaphysical blueprint. Generalizations, then, are crucial to the process of inductive reasoning.
Men and women are different. Not just when it comes to genitalia and the structure of our DNA — with men having a pair of XY and women a pair of XX chromosomes — but also in their very metaphysical essence as beings. It is practically impossible to imagine what it is like to experience someone else’s consciousness, and so a man will never know what it is like to be a woman in today’s reality. The opposite is also true. We can only imagine, but never truly experience it; we tend to imagine the advantages, and have a harder time imagining the challenges others face.
It is like the idea of subjective color perception. One might call the sky blue because as a child, someone pointed at it, then at their jeans, and said “these two are blue”. If we could borrow the conscious perception of this individual for just one moment, however, we might realize that what they see as blue is our perception of the color green. Only the labels connect us; the perception itself is infinitely subjective. Metaphysics tell us that the perception of reality of men and woman is intrinsically different. A man’s essence — the basic force which animates him — is very different than the essence of women, in a manner so central to our core that it impacts the very nature of our thoughts, let alone our emotions and actions.
When we speak of the laws of metaphysics, we must ignore all modern interpretations of sexuality and gender bias, and go back to an archetypal point of view as expressed in nature. This is not always easy to do, since even the word “natural” is subjective. If you get triggered by a statement I make, try to remember it is a generalization, and remember it is merely pointing to an inaccurate consistency. It is a general, naked, subjective, consistent truth; its accuracy, too, is reflected as a standard deviation. You might happen to be the exception for which this truth falls short. Stick to the idea, and move forward; don’t let my choice of a metaphor of subjective terminology discourage you from seeing the pattern.
And, so, a warning — many social, behavioral and sexual generalizations are to follow. I can’t guarantee you won’t be triggered, but I promise I won’t try to trigger you on purpose. To efficiently share this knowledge with you, however, I must stick to the archetypal nature of sexual duality, even if it is in conflict with the current social narrative.
The Law of Sexual Polarization
The Law of Sexual Polarization states that all energy is a result of a sexual union. This means that as Carl Jung taught us, all energy is a result of a dynamic tension between two opposites — a masculine one and a feminine one — that are continuously “fighting” each other for domination, thus striving for equilibrium over time.
For electricity to run to your appliance, you must have two wires – a hot one and a neutral one. In reality, only the hot, “masculine” wire is providing a charge. It is usually black. The other one, the white, “feminine”, neutral wire, receives and conducts the charge. Without it, the charge doesn’t flow. A closed circuit is required for energy to flow. This is an example of how the Laws of Metaphysics reverberate through all that exists. A circuit is a circle. Here, the electric circuit is a metaphor for the metaphysical law we mentioned before — the Law of Cycles, which states that all metaphysical energy is circular in nature. The masculine electrical energy is self-originating, but always moves towards equilibrium).
The Law of Sexual Polarity is observed, then, at every level of creation. In Hebrew wisdom these levels are called “containers”. Each container is a physical phenomenon defined by a label, like an atom, a rock, a marriage, your shoulder, a corporation or the universe itself. Each one reflects the same map of consciousness – the same blueprint of creation called the “Tree of Life.” In the atom, for example, the protons are the masculine energy and the electrons are the feminine, receiving energy. In a romantic partnership, as another example for a container, one partner is always the masculine force, the other, the feminine (this is not gender dependent, albeit gender related as a function of standard deviation, with men being the masculine force and woman being the feminine). The Law of Sexual Polarity is metaphorically depicted at the highest level of creation, the container being the universe itself. I mentioned earlier that according to metaphysics, the physical universe is a reflection of the metaphysical one. Here, the metaphysical universe is the masculine, energy giving one, much like the black wire in your outlet. The physical universe simply provides the matter particles which are animated using this energy. When you lose consciousness, you cannot experience reality; that is, without the metaphysical mind, no current is passing to animate the body, and no work can be done.
Understanding the Law of Sexual Polarization
Growing up as a quintessential “geek,” I always struggled with an apparent paradox. On one hand, I heard women say — again and again — that they want their man to be sensitive, kind, soft spoken and emotionally intelligent. However, when it came to raw physical attraction, it was obvious that the men who got to take the girl home usually demonstrated none of those qualities. The same paradox presented itself the other way around — when it comes to a pure sexual encounter, the average man is drawn to a woman who is sexually liberated; when it comes to relationship and marriage, however, the average man seeks a woman who demonstrates more conservative values.
The mind and the body reflect each other; as such, they desire two different things.
When one encounters the word “sexual,” it requires an effort to detach our thoughts from the topic of physical sexuality. As you will see, however, physical sexuality is but one of many metaphors for the law of sexual polarity. It’s a good one, though; and one that can all can relate to. Let us make generalizations about human sexuality so we can understand the metaphysical Law of Sexual Polarization. Here, the physical metaphor of this law is as naked as can be found.
We mentioned that the relationship between the masculine and feminine reverberate throughout all that exists. Everything is both masculine and feminine. It is like Russian Matryoshka Dolls — every time you open one there is another one inside which can be split, yet again, into two. This is important to remember as we move forward. Metaphysically, we are all androgynous beings; while the core differences between men and women are a helpful metaphor for the differences between these two forces, remember that both men and women contain both polarities.
The sexual man (now being our metaphor for the masculine principle in the Law of Sexual Polarity), always wants to give energy. He seeks to give his sperm, to give life. This quality is so intrinsic to man’s nature as it is to a woman’s, who wants to be seeded in order to have offspring. The woman, therefore, is receptive. The higher the tension, the greater the energy created in the union. Imbalance starts when the man wants to give more — or less — than the woman wants to receive, or vice versa.
Just as much tension can be built due to sexual polarity we can observe with the example of Elliot Rodger, who, in 2014, killed six people and injured fourteen others near the campus of UC Santa Barbara. In a chilling manifesto called “My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Rodger,” he describes the sexual tension that led him to kill. Sexual tension is the most powerful physical sensation; it inflates one’s willingness beyond the rationale. In one of the videos he posted on YouTube he spoke about how kind he was to women and yet, to his surprise, they always chose the men that treated them badly. He developed, over time, haltered to all beautiful women.
In Hebrew Metaphysics, the masculine energy is called Will. The feminine energy, on the other hand, is called Desire. Will and Desire are not the same; I might desire a tuna sandwich, but lack the will to go buy one. Will desires, and Desire fuels will. The more our desire is unsatisfied, the more our will grows. This is literally true — and metaphorically demonstrated — with the masculine genitalia. The two — Will and Desire — are continuously dancing in an effort to reach a union, an equilibrium. Their interaction generates life. Our willingness to do something is directly related to how much we want it.
The masculine’s ultimate desire is to satisfy the feminine, much like the average husband wants to satisfy his wife’s needs. It is the manner with which these desires are met that often creates friction. All other desires of men, such as to have money or power, come from the same innate desire to dominate and be the alpha male who gets to choose the female who will carry his seed. A woman’s ultimate desire is to be the ultimate object of desire. Women will tell you they dress for other women, not for men; men rarely notice what a woman is wearing. The average woman wants to be desired by the alpha male. This ensures good genes. If the alpha male wants her, her interest in other men disappears. If he doesn’t want her, she will then develop interest in others. For a man, the opposite is true. By default, he desires all women. It is just the man’s nature; it is only choice which dictates preference (if a group of men find themselves alone on a deserted island with one woman, they will all be interested in her at some point or another). The more of an alpha male a man is, the more women he will be interested in, since he has more energy to give (a pattern which was publicly demonstrated during the recent elections). The meek man, either physically or emotionally, will normally focus his sexual attention towards a single subject of desire — a woman he is deeply in love with — which, of course, diminishes his chances even further, as a reflection of the Law of Supply and Demand.
But what makes a male alpha? Here is where humans deviate from the animals. In the animal kingdom, the process of natural selection between the sexes focuses on physical traits. The strongest, and sometimes most beautiful male wins. As humans progress as a species, we see that the criteria for being alpha male is shifting towards the power of the intellect in an effort to achieve equilibrium (as a reflection of standard deviation, intellectual men normally lean towards physical meekness; we will understand why that is as we explore the structure of the conscious mind).
When my wife Diane and I have an argument, her ability to “snap out of the bad mood” is unbelievably impressive. It is not the case with me; I need a few hours to calm down, to re-arrange my thoughts, preferably without her around me. It is as if I need to be without her to desire her again. She, on the other hand, constantly waits for her desire to be satisfied. Here we can see the relationship between Will and Desire within a partnership as a function of time; the partner who desires something (say, to go to the restaurant), wants it to happen now. There is a direct correlation, then, between desire and immediacy. He who desires less is usually slower and would be the person being rushed. When Diane and I argue, she desires us to make up immediately, since it is the lack of harmony that upsets her. I, on the other hand, must wait for the desire to interact with her to come back. This discrepancy between her desire and my will creates tension and causes us both suffering. In reality, we always make up; metaphysically, it is merely the time factor which creates the tension.
You will see this pattern return all throughout the book. It is only our perception of time which differentiates our behavior.
The quintessential woman is receptive in the sense that she is adjusting herself to the environment. If the vibe is right, that is, if she receives what she wants, she‘ll be happy. If not, she won’t. The average woman (as a function of standard deviation) can move from being furious to being loving in an instant, all it takes is the right choice of words, a touch or a gesture. Not because she doesn’t have a mind of her own, but because her mind is her own. She chooses to change and adjust herself to the new situation in an instant, much like water adjust itself to the shape of the container in which is resides. A man, however, seems to be less fluid. The rigidness of masculine thought eliminates the ability to change perception on a dime, and a man would need a few hours to let go of whatever emotional turmoil has taken place. Like a robot, he is trained by experience; the sequence of events which led to the meltdown is not forgotten, and a new emotional “landmine” was categorized and filed in his mind, hopefully never to be stepped on again.
Remember, all that exists is a reflection of the same metaphysical template, and so all women demonstrate the masculine principle of Will, and all men demonstrate the masculine principle of desire. We all contain everything. Here, we used the example of the quintessential mean vs woman to demonstrate the principle of sexual polarity, and to demonstrate how this law impacts us daily.
This metaphor for the dynamic tension between the masculine and the feminine is not limited to the differences between men and women. It reverberates at every level of existence, like the tension between liberals and conservatives, the rational and irrational, the linear and that which flows, the thesis and antithesis, the logical and the artistic, the abstract and the concrete — this tension animates all of life. In every such conflict, one side represents the feminine and the other represents the masculine, and, as you will see, can always be tracked back to our perception of time. Understanding this principle can help us bridge our differences as humans.
This tension also animates our mind and is key to understand the mechanism that creates our conscious awareness, and how we think.
Law of Polarization as a reflection of our essence
Will and Desire, capitalized in this book to specify we are talking about them as principles of consciousness and not about a subjective sensation, are called the essence of consciousness because they are the conscious awareness that animates us into action. They are important to understand because they represent key differences between the masculine and feminine energy within us. As I mentioned before, they are very different from one another, and yet often mixed. I might desire an executive title but will not have the will power to work the long hours required to get it. The tension between these two principles reverberates throughout all conscious phenomena. It is the masculine Will which propels action, and it is the feminine, receptive Desire on which the action is performed. The former gives, the latter receives. Will is drawn to the object of Desire, and the object of Desire attracts Will.
In metaphysics, Will is considered to be an unbreakable force. You might be able to force people to do whatever you want by putting a gun to their heads, but you cannot make then want to do it. Our free-will is a birthright, a sacred weapon we always have at our disposal, unless we choose to give it up. Even then, it is our willingness to let go of our own desire which prevails, maybe to save our lives, for example. In such cases, the Will to live overcomes the Desire to be free. Regardless, we always have a choice. When we give away our Will, we simply direct it to the Desire of others. Many of us live this way as a choice, continuously sacrificing our own desire for the benefit of others. Parents often do it with their children, and partners do it with their beloved. When the pattern is unbalanced over time, resentment bubbles.
Will is a function of attraction. The more we love, the more we will. The greater the desire, the greater the love. A human in-love is willing to do anything for his or her beloved. Interestingly enough, Will is also a function of repulsion. The more we hate someone, the more we are willing to hurt them. Love and hatred, simply put, are two sides of the same coin. They are the variable in the equation, and Will is the constant. In reality, our Will power never changes; we have the same amount of Will at all times. It is simply the focus of the Will which shrinks and grows.
If free Will is the engine behind all thought, emotion and action, Desire is the steering wheel which guides it. Without an object of desire, something to love and pursue, we lose interest in life. When our Will is unfocused, we become lethargic, bored and easily depressed. Without a reason to act, that is, a desire to follow, our energy is gone. Unfocused Will without an object of Desire is like shining a flashlight into space; the beam simply disappears, since the light particles are never bounced back. The practice of re-focusing our Will towards an object of Desire dictates the energetic quality of our life. What the object of desire is, however, will dictate their richness.
Will, therefore, is experienced as a sense of focus. It is always linear, and constant. If you are swimming in the ocean and suddenly you are sensing fatigue, you’ll swim to shore in a straight line. We see what we want and go after as quickly and efficiently as we can. When one is hungry and sees food on the table, one will not zig-zag his way to it; we always move directly towards the object of desire.
Such is the masculine energy of consciousness. It is rational, clear, algorithmic, linear, predicted. It can be measured, if not quantitatively then qualitatively. It always looks outwards and grows as a function of Desire. In its naked, raw form, the masculine energy is selfish. It ignores the needs of others. It is self-idiologized, which means it forms an ideology about the world around it (either consciously or subconsciously); that ideology directs the Will.
Money is a great example. We all have an ideology around money. I used to think that money could make me happy. After I finished my computer science degree at NYU, I was offered a job on the West Coast. I said yes without knowing what my job description would be. They are paying me six digits, I remember thinking; Who cares? I’ll dance naked on the conference room table if that’s what is needed.
Ignorance is bliss.
Desire is experienced as a sense of lack. He who has it all, experiences no lack. To desire something, you must feel its absence. If Will is self-ideologized, Desire is self-centered. It does not exist for any reason other than to be satisfied. Ideology is always regarding the external; with the feminine energy, there is no external, only internal. Like a black hole, everything revolves around it. It pulls everything in. Desire activates and focuses Will. If the Will is powerful enough, action takes place. This is not always the case. Right now, I desire to go home and rest, but I choose to stay seated and write. I want to finish my work more than I want to go home. My desire, however, is now distributed; this makes my work harder, since my will is not focused on one desire. This is why it is so hard to work before we leave on vacation; our will is directed elsewhere.
Here’s a taste of what this means when it comes to the structure of the conscious mind. People who procrastinate, for example, are usually polarized to the masculine mind, which means their body is polarized to the feminine. Procrastination is lack of action, which results from Will being focused internally, not externally. People who’s feminine mind is the dominant mind, however, can’t sit still. They always have to do something, since their body is dominated by the masculine mind, and therefore their Will is pointing outward. What is your Will pointed towards? That is, where is your inner drive taking you? What about your partner, your children or your friends? What drives the people you know?
The Law of Sexual Polarization works at every level, and so when we speak of it, we must remember the container we are looking at. All humans, of course, have both Will and Desire, since we each contain all. Let’s switch for a moment, however, to the container of a partnership. Here, women symbolize Desire and men symbolize Will; hence the quote “Women – you can’t live with them, and can’t live without them.” From a man’s perspective, a typical woman is never satisfied. Women wants it all, and they want it now. Give your wife a new kitchen, a man would say, and she’ll want to renovate the bathroom. Do the bathroom, and she’ll want the yard landscaped. The typical man genuinely wants to satisfy his beloved and is constantly jumping from one object of her desire to the next, since his ultimate desire is to make her happy. He wants to be admired and loved. Her desire, therefore, becomes his. From a man’s perspective, a woman’s desire always changes, and seems to always be pointed at that which was not yet attained. Previous effort is praised momentarily; if the next desire is not satisfied, however, all is forgotten.
From a woman’s perspective the opposite is true; the typical man is unreceptive, especially to her wisdom. He never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity, and always looks at the wrong object of desire. His priorities, so it seems, are always misguided, and he is never open to hear an advice. A woman intuitively knows what needs to be done. Her man’s willingness to do what is needed, from her perspective, is always lacking, since he always resists her desire. If he could only notice the underlying needs of reality, so that she doesn’t have to spell it out every time! He’ll notice a loose screw under the table, but somehow will always miss the overflowing garbage. It is only when she is upset, it seems, that he propels himself into action.
When it comes to Desire, it’s all about time. When we desire something, we desire it now. It is the prioritization of the multiple desires that is a key to a successful marriage. But Desire, as an energy, is a tricky one to manage. It seems that it causes us suffering no matter what. It grows when unsatisfied and can drive us into madness. Any human who has been in love with an unattainable person knows this feeling. Desire, however, grows also when satisfied, like a black hole which grows from the galaxies that are sucked into it. The more we eat, the more food we require. When we are pleasured we immediately want to repeat the experience. When we get that big house we always wanted, we then want a lot of furniture, dishes, and toys to put in it. As the new pleasurable experience tops the previous one, the desire grows even further. We get addicted to the high of temporary satisfaction. Only when our joy diminishes is when our desire starts dying out, only to be replaced with a new one.
It is in mid-life, usually, when most of us realize we have been chasing false desires and seek meaning to fuel our now-directionless will.
In both Eastern and Western spiritual traditions, Desire is considered to be the source of all suffering. This, however, is where the similarities end. In Eastern traditions, desire must be concurred and squashed for us to find inner happiness. This makes sense, to some extent; if there is no desire, it means we have no lack. It also means, however, that we have no will to act, and so we might sit all day in samadhi (the bliss of meditative presence). In reality, there is always Desire. The Eastern mystic simply replaces earthly desire with the desire to be one with the divine. Desire, as an essence, can never truly go away. It is as integral to life as the womb of a woman. Without it, life cannot grow and thrive, since without an object of desire, there is no will. It is the masculine Will that gives life; like the seed that fertilizes the egg.
In Western spiritual traditions, such as occultism for example, the practitioner is in fact encouraged to pursue his or her desire. Instead of ignoring it, says Western wisdom, feed it to death. Get it out of your system. It is a faster path to liberation, says the Western mystic, albeit more intense. While doing it, ensure you are not infringing on someone else’s free will or abusing yourself, of course, since that will defeat the very purpose of the spiritual journey. Letting go of Desire, says Western wisdom, requires you to satisfy the desire while exploring the reasons why this desire is there in the first place. This intellectual pursuit of what is causing the sense of lack, coupled with the satisfaction of the senses, reduces the desire over time. When we see our own obsessive patterns for what they are, we lose the appetite to satisfy them. I found that this reversed method works well with most Westerners (it has direct correlation with the mental polarity of the individual, since the typical Westerner is masculinely polarized, and hence tends to learn first through the intellect).
Differentiating between our Desire and the Will that pursues it is an important practice in detecting our thought patterns. Understanding the difference between the masculine and feminine principles that animate us will help us understand the structure of our conscious mind.
Sexual Polarization in Nature
Since the Law of Sexual Energy is a fundamental law that governs all phenomena, every phenomenon can be seen as a metaphor of this law. The most effective metaphor used in Metaphysics, however, to demonstrate this law, is the relationship of Fire and Water; and so it is an important one to understand.
The dichotomy between Water and Fire is the most effective metaphor for the Law of Sexual Polarity not just because it works well, but because it exists as a direct reflection of this law. Since the Law of Sexual Polarization reverberates through all that exists, it is only appropriate that we look at the elements themselves to demonstrate it metaphorically. Hebrew Wisdom tells us that in reality, there are only three elements – Fire, Water and Air. Earth, we are told, is merely a form of the other three – a solid representation of fire and water fighting each other. With enough fire, like in the case of a rupturing volcano, earth turns liquid. Without fire to give heat, all freezes.
In other words, there are three players in this sexual play, not two. The atom has a positively charge proton and a negatively charge electron, but also a neutral neutron. There is always a third, neutral force which works between the two polarities. This force is always unseen yet has the power to rebalance the equilibrium between the masculine and feminine forces. In love, the partnership itself is that force. This third variable is like dark matter — immeasurable and undetectable — and yet it holds all matter together somehow. In the same manner, air is the unseen element which binds Fire and Water to each other.
Fire and Water are always fighting for control. They are each-other’s nemeses, as fire is put out by water and water is evaporated by fire. It is the invisible Air, however, that determines which one wins. Less Air means Water wins; Water (as an element, not as a chemical) does not allow Air to reside within. Fire cannot exist without Air as fuel, and Water cannot cycle without Air to move it. Air, then, maintains the equilibrium of life, both literally and figuratively.
As fire is energy giving, it is considered to be the masculine element in the equation. Unless stopped by water, and as long as air is available, fire will spread to consume all that is its path. By its very existence it is inviting an inevitable demise, since it releases the water trapped in what it burns back into the air; clouds are formed, which in turn bring rain, which in turn puts out fires, and the cycle continues indefinitely. It is the continuous tension between water and fire that creates weather patterns. That tension between these masculine and feminine principles of nature, many of us have noticed, has increased in the last few decades.
The word “matter” comes from the German word “mater” which means mother. That is why in theology mother-mature is considered to be feminine, and the sun, which provides it with fiery energy, is considered to be masculine. Without the energy from the sun, planet Earth would be a desolate freezer. Water is receptive, as everything sinks in it, the depth of the ocean being like a black hole that sucks everything into it with great power. And so Water is feminine; without water, there is no life. It is the feminine which births life into existence, and it is the masculine which feeds it so it can regenerate yet again. Both polarities are needed for life to take place. Air is required to maintain the equilibrium. The body, which is Earth, is animated by Fire and kept alive by Water; it must, however, continuously breathe in order to live.
Fire is forceful, linear in nature, uncompromising. The flame will always burn straight up, as evident if you hold a lighter in an angle. Water, on the other hand, has no form, and always flows down. It is receptive, fluid, changing its shape continuously. It always flows in curves and is considered in theology to be the most powerful force in the physical universe. The power of water, in fact, is compared to the power of God itself in the Hebrew book of psalms (93:4). The feminine wrath, as men know it, is mighty. The flame of love is the only fire that can withstand its formidable force, for it is our Will — the most powerful force of the metaphysical universe — that keeps it burning.
This metaphor of Fire and Water as sexual polarities, with Air being the mediator, repeats itself as a core principle of metaphysics. This is true also when we think of ourselves as the container representing the blueprint of creation. When it comes to your being, the mind is considered to be Fire and the body is considered to be Water. This is easy to remember since fire always goes up, towards the head, and water always flows down, towards the feet. In the mind, neurons are firing; the body, on the other hand, is made mostly of water.
Here is a simple demonstration of how the Law of Sexual Polarity works in practice. Stop your breath while trying to think of a problem you are facing in life. You’ll notice that your thoughts — and the problem — will gradually disappear, like a flame covered by a glass, until you become fully present with the fact you are not breathing. Simply put, without air the fire of the mind dies out and you become submerged in your bodily experience.
All it takes to practice metaphysics is to have awareness of these patterns in all physical and metaphysical phenomena around you. Look for the dichotomy of Fire and Water everywhere; for example, in every conversation you are having. Who is the giver (Fire) and who is the one that receives (Water)? Look for this tension in every project you do, every argument you are a part of, every human interaction you observe, every object you hold.
The Law of Sexual Polarity is at work everywhere.
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